The Gregory Brothers feat. Joel Madden Lyrics
"Auto-Tune The News 11: Pure Poppycock."

You have the charisma of a damp rag, damp rag!
You have the appearance of a bank clerk, bank clerk!
Who are you?
I'd never heard of you
Eat my poo
Nobody in Europe had ever heard of you!
I have no doubt that it's your intention
To be the quiet assassin of European democracy!
Perhaps that's because, you come from Belgium
Which of course is pretty much, a non-country!
We don't know you, we don't want you!
The sooner you're put out to grass, the better!
We don't like you, we don't want you!
Our logic and reason have you proved you wrong!
Go back to Douchebagistan where you belong!
Don't make me have to start World War Three!
Bring it on, these guns are WMD!
We don't know you, we don't want you
We don't like you, we don't want you!

Last month comedian Bill Cosby was surprised to read that he died
How can he read if he's dead?
Chief Justice John Roberts was the last to know he resigned
Maybe he should check his head
All of those stories of course are pure poppycock that proliferated online
I do it all the time, making up shit, is so sublime
But that of course is little solace for the reader
Who simply wants to surf the web
Without getting pulled under by a riptide of lies
You can't protect the web from assholes like me, Shawty!
Truth can rip through cyberspace as quickly as lies
Bloggers gnaw at new information like piranhas in a pool.
Don't play me for a fool, you know as well as I
We're both getting owned by the
Rip, riptide, of lies.
Pulled under by a rip, riptide of lies.
Pure poppycock. (Pure poppycock)
I want to surf, surf the web
Without getting pulled under by a rip
Riptide of lies, lies, lies, lies, lies

You hit on a guy at a wedding.
I, I, so
Explain that one first.
Okay, so we're at a wedding, New Years Eve
Everyone had too much to drink.
There were 300 people there
I went with a bridesmaid, danced with her, I grabbed a bachelor
Now they're saying a groped a male staffer!
Yeah, I did
(Um) Yeah yeah yeah!
A manly back-rub, just a back rub!
We all live together
(Um) all the bachelors and me.
Naked in the tub
You can take anything out of context (hugging!)
You can take anything out of context (scrubbing!)
You can take anything out of context
Rubbing and humping, yeah!
Tickling and jumping, yeah yeah!
I tickled him 'till he couldn't breathe then four guys jumped on me!
It's my fiftieth birthday
Whether, you're telling the truth, an avalanche is coming your way
An avalanche, of lies
Pulled under by an avalanche of lies
Pure poppycock (Pure poppycock)
Whether you're telling the truth or not, you're guaranteed to get caught
In an avalanche of lies, lies

Uh, yeah, u-huh,
Massa staffers, dropping a St. Bernard of truth
But we already drank the brandy
My boss tickles me like a true G
He straddles me so masculine
No stopping when I'm asking him
When he cootchie-coo my armpits, I'm a goner
Try' na pretend that I don't notice his boner
Try' na distract him from headlines from China
He just dropped his drawers and pulled out his vagina

Whenever you hear the boss swaggering down the hall
You know he gonna drop a double cup on your tennis balls
You have to be a soldier, a real man
To soothe a male staffer with a stroke from a tender hand
Ain't nothing wrong with a Massa massage
When you're in a chronic platonic quintuple menage
The entourage gripped in a bear hug that they can't escape
Tryna pretend they don't notice when ejaculates
Hey hey, over the line!
...Which part?