"Hello Parody" lyrics

Hello
Help me
I have no service I shouldn't have switched to AT&T
I cannot
Even tweet
My entire world is crashing down
I feel like I'm dying
Hello
Can you hear me?

Adele, calm down, use the landline, you are such a drama queen

No I canceled that, last week
I'm having a panic attack

Just try outside, stop crying

This entire song is, one giant, first world problem rant

Hello oh God no why!
I still have zero bars outside
I'm so screwed my life is, crumbling before my eyes
Wait I know, I'll go back in, and connect with WiFi
Oh no I'm locked outside
I can't fucking believe this, why?
Please come to the door and let me back in the home
It's fifty degrees and all I have is this massive coat I'm so cold

Thank God, a payphone
In the middle of the woods, makes perfect sense, normal totally
Come on, pick it up
I can't believe I'm locked out of the house and you're not answering

It's been an hour
Since my last tweet
My fans must think I'm dead

Help me I cannot get online
If I do not say hello I
Will lose my following
They will forget about me
Wait hold up I have a, bar now I can tweet
Hello I'm still alive
I have bad service, locked outside

She can't get in her house
And her service is bad

Oh God poor Adele, her life is
In shambles it's so sad

It's the worst day of my life
And now my fucking phone just died
Everything's gone wrong my, world's falling apart
I might as well just give up and, shove this knife in my heart
Good-bye world