"Folk Monologue / Value" lyrics
Can I get my glass of tea? Mm, nothing like it!
At this time I would like very much to do a folk song
Since folk songs, I think, are still popular today
Um, this one is in Latvian and it's from Latvia
And it's about this Tahitian girl who um, had this lover
And then one day this lover decides that he doesn't like her anymore and likes her sister better
So she decided that the only thing to do naturally was to kill herself, see
So one day, oh, was very nice
Out about 75 degrees, and she was taking this walk down to the river to drown when she, she tripped over this rock see
And um, oh it was awful I mean, she broke her glasses, she scrapped her knees
And um, just at this minute the lover and the sister happen to come by in a taxicab
So, see they saw her on the floor and she, having an astigmatism in her left eye, she thought that it was a wild bore
So, she figured, "Oh, boy! I'd better get down to the river fast to drown!"
So she runs down there and what do you know the river was frozen
So I mean she just stood there you know and she went tchhh, like that
Tch, and um, because, I mean, she couldn't do it that day
See, it was a small town
They only had one river, so anyway
Then she figured, oh it's getting late, better get home 'cause her mamma would be worried and would kill her if she was late for supper you know
So, I mean, she gets up and she starts walking around home and she bumps into this guy, and what do you know, he turns out to be an optometrist
And just happens to happen to have her "suscription"
So, anyway, uh?
Oh, I'm sorry "suBscription"
So anyway, I mean, she's—
I don't want you to think that this is one of those Hollywood-like stories: She gets the glasses and sees happily ever after
I mean, this is, you know, no like that
I mean she had to pay for the glasses just like you and me, she
Well, oh well, I mean, I don't want you to think that I'm lying but she did get about a dollar fifty off, dollar
Sixty-five? So anyway, um
This guy (Oh) turned out to be very nice and he even told her where she could find another river
So, I'll tell you the truth, this girl was a real creep
I mean, you know who would wanna sing a song about her?
I mean, her sister was really much nicer
And um, I mean, I, I think she came from a better family
Call me a boob
Call me a schlemiel
Call me a brain with a missing wheel
Call me what you will
But nonetheless I'm still
In love with Harold Mingert
It's not because he has a car
Arnie Fleisher has a car
And a car is just a car
But if Harold didn't have a car too his name
I guess I'd love him just the same
Call me what you will
But nonetheless I'm still
In love with Harold Mingert
And it's not because he has a wealthy family
Arnie Fleischer has a wealthy family
But money isn't everything
And if Harold didn't have a car too his name
I know I'd love him just the same
But sometimes I ask myself why than
Do I than love Harold Mingert
Harold isn't handsome or clever or smart
And I don't find romance and a dance in his heart
The only answers I can think about
Harold Mingert's money and Harold Mingert's car
Call me what you will
But non the less I'm still
In love with Harold Mingert
Also Arnie Fleisher!
"Value"
At this time I would like very much to do a folk song
Since folk songs, I think, are still popular today
Um, this one is in Latvian and it's from Latvia
And it's about this Tahitian girl who um, had this lover
And then one day this lover decides that he doesn't like her anymore and likes her sister better
So she decided that the only thing to do naturally was to kill herself, see
So one day, oh, was very nice
Out about 75 degrees, and she was taking this walk down to the river to drown when she, she tripped over this rock see
And um, oh it was awful I mean, she broke her glasses, she scrapped her knees
And um, just at this minute the lover and the sister happen to come by in a taxicab
So, see they saw her on the floor and she, having an astigmatism in her left eye, she thought that it was a wild bore
So, she figured, "Oh, boy! I'd better get down to the river fast to drown!"
So she runs down there and what do you know the river was frozen
So I mean she just stood there you know and she went tchhh, like that
Tch, and um, because, I mean, she couldn't do it that day
See, it was a small town
They only had one river, so anyway
Then she figured, oh it's getting late, better get home 'cause her mamma would be worried and would kill her if she was late for supper you know
So, I mean, she gets up and she starts walking around home and she bumps into this guy, and what do you know, he turns out to be an optometrist
And just happens to happen to have her "suscription"
So, anyway, uh?
Oh, I'm sorry "suBscription"
So anyway, I mean, she's—
I don't want you to think that this is one of those Hollywood-like stories: She gets the glasses and sees happily ever after
I mean, this is, you know, no like that
I mean she had to pay for the glasses just like you and me, she
Well, oh well, I mean, I don't want you to think that I'm lying but she did get about a dollar fifty off, dollar
Sixty-five? So anyway, um
This guy (Oh) turned out to be very nice and he even told her where she could find another river
So, I'll tell you the truth, this girl was a real creep
I mean, you know who would wanna sing a song about her?
I mean, her sister was really much nicer
And um, I mean, I, I think she came from a better family
Call me a boob
Call me a schlemiel
Call me a brain with a missing wheel
Call me what you will
But nonetheless I'm still
In love with Harold Mingert
It's not because he has a car
Arnie Fleisher has a car
And a car is just a car
But if Harold didn't have a car too his name
I guess I'd love him just the same
Call me what you will
But nonetheless I'm still
In love with Harold Mingert
And it's not because he has a wealthy family
Arnie Fleischer has a wealthy family
But money isn't everything
And if Harold didn't have a car too his name
I know I'd love him just the same
But sometimes I ask myself why than
Do I than love Harold Mingert
Harold isn't handsome or clever or smart
And I don't find romance and a dance in his heart
The only answers I can think about
Harold Mingert's money and Harold Mingert's car
Call me what you will
But non the less I'm still
In love with Harold Mingert
Also Arnie Fleisher!
"Value"
