by Dan Bern on album New American Language

Riding down the highway with Cowboy Joe Met Leonardo DiCaprio, Leo, he's tryin' to get away from The unwanted advances of Eminem Em's wearing drawstrings, lispin' along Sayin', "Please, put me int

by Dan Bern on album Dan Bern

When I tell you that I love you, don't test my love Accept my love, don't test my love 'Cause maybe I don't love you all that much Don't ask what kind of music I'm gonna play tonight Just stay awhile

by Dan Bern on album Dan Bern

The day that Elvis died was like a mercy killing America breathed a sigh of relief We knew all about the drugs and the Vegas shows And there wasn't much of anything that looked like grief And I

by Dan Bern on album Dan Bern

I saw the best of my generation playing pinball Maked up and caked up And looking like some kind of china doll With all of Adolf Hitler's moves down cold As they stood up in front of a Rock and

by Dan Bern on album Dan Bern

I got thirty-six foot insulation in my house Wear fourteen pairs of long underwear Stick tape inside my ears Cover myself with five bedspreads I spend every morning in an isolation tank Spend e

by Dan Bern on album Dan Bern

I was painting a still life this morning Of a throat lozenge sitting on a copy of Tropic of Cancer The only thing weird about it is that a year ago I never thought I'd paint anything again I decid

by Dan Bern on album Dan Bern

Marilyn Monroe didn't marry Henry Miller Marilyn Monroe didn't marry Henry Miller Marilyn Monroe didn't marry Henry Miller Marilyn Monroe didn't marry Henry Miller But if she did, he'd have taken her

by Dan Bern on album Dan Bern

You can categorize me Lump me with the others If that's the way you wanna play You can say that the way it's been Is exactly The way that it's gotta be And I'll make you feel right If you gotta

by Dan Bern on album Dan Bern

We pulled into Rome With blood in our eyes After days of travelin' Months of lies Taking our various Turns at the wheel Taking booze And pot and cigarettes Anything not to feel No one had sle

by Dan Bern on album Dan Bern

Enough of this throat singing already If you wanna sing two notes at once Why don't you do like everyone else? Get a multi-track machine Lay 'em down separately Make a little harmony Maybe a bass tra

by Dan Bern on album Dan Bern

Do you got to be a queen all your life? Are you gonna take that crown off your head? Are you ever gonna come to bed? Do you got to be a queen all your life? Do you plan on speaking in this year?

by Dan Bern on album Dan Bern

Well, they elected me King of the world I said, "Here's what I'm gonna do Send everybody over to China Except for me and you Strip ourselves naked Go to Beverly Center Watch movies and eat Ci

by Dan Bern on album New American Language

I met God On the edge of town Where the wind meets the stillness Where the darkness meets the light Where the ocean meets the sky Where the desert meets the rain Where the earth meets the heavens On

by Dan Bern on album Miscellaneous

I don't know what made me go out that night At that hour I'd have normally been in bed But I found myself looking up at the sky At a very bright light straight overhead It flashed green, then red, San

by Dan Bern on album Miscellaneous

I met god on the edge of town Where the wind meets the stillness Where the darkness meets the light Where the ocean meets the sky Where the desert meets the rain Where the earth meets the heavens On t

by Dan Bern on album Macaroni Cola

When your car breaks down you hand your keys to the nearest jogger And say if you can fix it, it belongs to you You go through roommates and friends and apartments Like the ordinary person would chang

by Dan Bern on album Doubleheader

Sometimes I think about it when I'm all alone When I'm walking ‘round home and it's late at night And I don't feel right and I just can't sleep And I can't keep the dark from pourin' out It was a g

by Dan Bern on album Fifty Eggs

Because I love you, I get tongue tied around you I never say smart stuff around you I never say anything around you That makes you want to be with me So, because I love you, I will never be with you

by Dan Bern on album Fifty Eggs

I got big balls, big old balls Big as grapefruits, big as pumpkins Yes sir, yes sir, and on my really good days They swell to the size of small dogs My balls are as big as small dogs Well, it a

by Dan Bern on album New American Language

Everybody was ecstatic 'Bout the light show on the farm And everyone got crazy And nobody got harmed And the five televisions Huge upon the stage Had come to pay their union dues And make a l