The Happiest Home In These Hills

I′ll cook you cake and gingerbread, bring you tea in bed, on a tray

We'll slave while you go fishin′, you'll get permission to run and play

These tears oughta show you I care, come back, by crackin' we"ll share the happiest home in these hills, in these hills

Gonna stag him, gag him, drag him through town, put his head in the river, let the pup drown

Trap him, strap him, wrap him in a sack, yeah

Tie him screamin′ to a railroad track

We′ll have you sing in chapel, you'll be the apple of Mama′s eye

I'll tend to all you sewing, and do your mowing, so just rely on me

Dang, we know you′re out there, it's late!

We′re waiting to share the happiest home in these hills, in these hills

Gonna paw him, saw him in half, when he cries out for mercy, we'll just laugh

Beat him, heat him, eat him for desert, yeah

Roast him gently so the flames won't hurt, yeah

Spread out!

You′ll swim, and you′ll go campin', you′ll be a champ in your own backyard

Our love is overflowin', it keeps on goin′

We'll sleep good knowin′ you're hooooooome, in these hills

We're gonna string him from a tree

In these hills

We′re gonna sting him like a bee

In these hills

We′re gonna spill him on his head

In these hills

We're gonna fill him full of lead

In these hills

In these hills

In these hills

In these hills

In these hills