verse
I was a girl, you was a man
I was too young to understand
I was naive, I just believed
Everything that you told me
Said you were strong, protecting me
Then I found out that you were weak
Keepin' me there, under your thumb
'Cause you were scared that I'd become much
pre-chorus
More than you could handle
Shining like a chandelier
That decorated every room inside
The private hell we built
Like a kid I wished I could fly away
chorus
But instead, I kept my tears inside
'Cause I knew if I started I'd keep crying
For the rest of my life with you
I finally built up the strength to walk away
Don't regret it but I still live with the side effects
chorus
Wakin' up scared some nights still dreaming 'bout them violent times
Still a little protective 'bout the people that I let inside
Still a little defensive thinkin' folk be tryna run my life
Still little depressed inside, I fake a smile and deal with the side effects
verse
It didn't stop, no one was there
Couldn't be real, had to keep quiet
Once in a while, put up a fight
It's just too much, night after night
After a while I would just lie
You was dead wrong, said you was right
Did what I could, just to survive
Couldn't believe this was my life
chorus
Still kept the tears inside
'Cause I knew if I started I'd keep crying
For the rest of my life with you
I finally built up the strength to walk away
Don't regret it but I still live with the side effects
chorus
Wakin' up scared some nights still dreaming 'bout them violent times
Still a little protective 'bout the people that I let inside
Still a little defensive thinkin folk be tryna run my life
Still a little depressed inside, I fake a smile and deal with the side effects
verse
Hey Magnifico or should I say Magnificent?
Ain't nothing worth your happiness
And I ain't caring who you're with
Misery love company so we ain't tryin' to hang with y'all
Hurt you if ya let 'em in
Gotta keep ya sucka smilin'
I tell him I ain't blowin' though
Think they want me outta here
I tell 'em I ain't goin' though
bridge
Forgive but I can't forget
Every day I deal with this
I live with the side efffects
But I ain't gonna let them get the best of me
Forgive but I can't forget
Every day I deal with this
I live with the side efffects
But I ain't gonna let them get the best of me
chorus
Wakin' up scared some nights still dreaming 'bout the violent times
Still a little protective 'bout the people that I let inside
Still a little defensive thinkin folk be tryna run my life
Still a little depressed inside, I fake a smile and deal with the side effects
Writer(s): Mariah Carey, Scott Spencer Storch, Jay W. Jenkins, Crystal Nicole Johnson