This Is How We Jew It

Oh my god girls

So I was like dating this guy and he was like 5′4", curly hair, big brown beady eyes and soooo Jewish he was so cute

So he like, invited me over for Christmas dinner

But it wasn't Christmas dinner he said it was like "chchch", s-I don′t know, I thought he sneezed

And like, when his mom opened the door I said: "Merry Christmas"

And she looked at me and she was like: "Shalom"

And I was like oh

Where's your Christmas tree?

What's up with this candelabra?

Why are you guys eating Chinese food?

And she just looked at me and said:

"Uhhhhhh, this is how we Jew it!"

This is how we Jew it

(This is how we Jew it)

(This is how we Jew it)

So we sat down for dinner and there were like all these dill pickles on the table

And this weird jellyfish in a jar

And instead they offered me these things called potato latkes and brisket and challah bread and kugel

And I was like: "Ew, I don′t eat starch, I′m a gluten-free vegan. Ugh!"

The kids all play with these things called dreidels

And I'm like: "Oh my god, I love Dr. Dre!" and they just looked at me kinda weird

And then their parents gave them these gold coins

And I′m like: "Oh my god, I love money, I love Hanukkah!"

Then his yaya gave me a glass of Manischewitz wine

And I was like: "Oh my god I love it!"

This is how we Jew it!

This is how we Jew it

This is how we Jew it

(This is how we Jew it)

After dinner all the guys were like: "This shiska is cool"

I totally feel like Barbra Streisand

I was like: "Let's watch Yentl, let′s break the glass, where's Mel Brooks?

This wine′s got me schvitzing, oy gevalt, I'm getting verklempt

I'm on this Hasidic shit"

This is how we Jew it!